i revel in the idea that what we are doing here is afforded to us only by some miraculous chances and immeasurable efforts. the banff centre is an epicenter of art, aimed at inspiring creativity and this place has only come about from a variety of sources working together in incredible ways. from funders, to staff, to faculty to the government, the funding and operations and years of focus on one simple idea are what keep this place going.

this is all amazing. however, it is important to remember that this place isn’t real. its idealistic. you can get comfortable with the facilities available with an ease not normally accessible. this is a middle earth, a place where large companies fund artistic discovery, where governments recognize that expression and creation sustain and fuel the progression of society. i look to this place for inspiration of a world that could be. and, while it may be scary past the mountain ridges, i look forward to the day where i will take what this place has given me and share it with those who have yet to feel whatever it is i’m starting to discover out here.

the trip reminded me of my trip to antigonish, ns eight years ago for university. however, when i awoke about halfway into the two hour bus ride to find myself surrounded by mountains, i knew it was all new.

from illustrious mountains to the complete differences caused by living 1,463m above sea level, this place captivates immediately. on my first night i walked on a bridge over a frozen river that marks the divide between the base of several mountains. all around me their snowy peaks tower over, and i can’t help but feel small and minimal. in the surroundings of such natural beauty, formed by years of pressure and force and natural agony, this place motivates.

in the week leading to my departure i barely had time to revel in my acceptance to study and produce podcasts at the banff centre or contemplate on what it would mean to leave a city i have called home for over two years. living in toronto has been a childhood dream of mine. it’s one of the first places where i’ve felt truly at home, happy, and safe. friends, markets, concerts, culture and a whole lot of love helped shape the emotions and memories that will ensure part of my heart always remains in toronto.

every year half my family gathers in either Ontario or Pennsylvania. you see, we’ve always lived far apart (one half of my family being American, the other Irish). The places we live change, the numbers change, but the sentiment is always the same – we’re doing everything we can to be as humanly close as possible.

this year people came from Ottawa, Toronto, Kansas, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Alabama to celebrate Christmas and each other in my parents suburban home. there, the old traditions of hoagies, mass, and my grandfather reading “The Night Before Christmas” on christmas eve began. we experienced a possible new tradition of hot yoga on christmas day, and paintball a few days later. as usual, we part-took in the boxing-day-party tradition of close family friends. we worked out together, ate leftovers together, and watched an entire season of mad men together.

letting our grandfather read us a book we hear every year reminds us all that we’ve come from the same place. enjoying a yoga class taught by my sister celebrates growth and the recognition that, although we have changed significantly since we were children, we all can come together. my family has all left for their respective homes. each time i see them i attempt to tell them as honestly as i can that they mean something to me. i let my aunts and uncles know that their ways of caring and guiding me are noticed and appreciated. i let my cousins (who are all younger) know that i notice and care about their growth. i let my sisters and parents know their support is the most important thing to me.

more constantly and consistently i am being reminded of how much my family means and how special they are. this holiday season brought much needed joy to my life, and reminded me that despite anything else, my family will be there.